By Jessica Ruzicka MS, LPC, QMHP, NCC | August 1, 2025
Parenting is a journey of highs and lows. Some days, you feel like you have it all together, and other days, you’re convinced you’re getting it all wrong. It’s easy to get caught up in the stress and pressure, but you aren’t alone. Below are some important reminders and insights that can help you navigate the beautiful and challenging world of parenthood with more peace and self-compassion.
You’re Not “Messing Them Up”
No parent is perfect. We all make mistakes—we raise our voices, we lose our patience, we forget things. The most critical part isn’t the mistake itself, but what you do afterward. A repair—a simple apology like, “I’m sorry I got frustrated; that wasn’t fair to you”—is what truly strengthens your relationship with your child. This act creates safety and teaches your child that it’s okay to make mistakes and take responsibility. Avoiding the repair is what causes the real problem.
The Foundation Starts with You
Your child’s ability to manage their emotions and build resilience is built on the foundation of your own emotional regulation. When you prioritize your own well-being and dedicate time to it, you’re not being selfish. You are creating a safer, more regulated environment for your child. Taking care of yourself is a form of taking care of your family.
Fixing Everything Isn’t Helping
It’s natural to want to protect your child from all pain and sadness, but “fixing” every feeling for them doesn’t build emotional resilience. Instead, allow your child to feel their feelings in safe ways. Offer comfort and a listening ear without immediately trying to solve the problem. This practice helps them learn to navigate tough emotions on their own, building their autonomy and confidence.
Boundaries Aren’t the Enemy
Boundaries are often exhausting and difficult to enforce, but they are also absolutely essential for both you and your child. They provide a sense of structure, safety, and trust.
- Boundaries help kids feel safe. Children, especially young ones, crave structure even when they push against it. Consistent boundaries help them understand the world and what is expected of them, which creates a sense of emotional security.
- Boundaries teach self-control. When you calmly enforce limits, you are teaching your kids how to manage impulses and tolerate hearing “no.” This is a crucial skill for emotional growth and prepares them for the real world.
- Boundaries protect the parent-child relationship. Saying “no” or setting limits prevents resentment from building. Without boundaries, parents can feel drained and overwhelmed, which can damage the connection with their child. Remember, “I love you” and “That’s not okay” can exist in the same moment.
- Boundaries prevent burnout. Your boundaries protect your time, energy, and well-being. They are how you communicate that you matter, too. A regulated parent creates a more stable environment for their child.
It’s Just a Chapter, Not the Whole Book
Whatever phase you’re in—sleep regressions, toddler tantrums, or teen drama—it won’t last forever. Don’t measure your success as a parent by the hardest moments. Instead, remember that there is no perfect parent or guide. Being a present, loving individual who sets boundaries and shows up wholeheartedly creates the opportunity for you to grow as a parent and plant those seeds in your children.
When You Feel Like You’re Drowning
When you feel overwhelmed, it’s a sign that your current setup isn’t sustainable. It’s your brain asking for a change, not telling you that you’re a bad parent. Instead of pushing through, pause and ask yourself:
- What’s not working right now?
- What small shift could make a difference?
- What absolutely has to get done today?
Let go of the pressure to be a perfect parent. Your kids don’t need a Pinterest-worthy childhood—they need you, showing up and trying. If that means cereal for dinner or extra screen time, that’s okay.
Finally, please remember that asking for help does not mean you have failed as a parent. It is a courageous act that says you value yourself and your child enough to seek support. You don’t have to do this alone.
If you are feeling overwhelmed, Ensō Mental Health is here to help. We offer support to help you navigate the challenges of parenthood and find a path forward. Schedule an appointment to see how we can support you.
