By Brecken Wilkinson, MS / Outpatient Therapist | September 30, 2025
Childhood trauma can have profound and lasting effects on a child’s physical, emotional, and cognitive development. Trauma, whether from abuse, neglect, loss, or instability, can disrupt a child’s sense of safety and well-being. However, research shows that connectedness and supportive relationships can play a powerful role in helping children recover and thrive.
The Effects of Trauma on Children
Children who experience multiple adverse events are at increased risk for a wide range of challenges, including:
- Cognitive delays that affect learning and problem-solving.
- Physical health issues such as obesity, asthma, and somatic complaints.
- Sleep disturbances, including nightmares and poor sleep hygiene.
- Mental health concerns, such as depression and anxiety.
- Behavioral challenges, including aggression and difficulty regulating emotions.
- Academic setbacks, such as repeating grades, missing school, and facing disciplinary actions.
These effects can compound over time, making it harder for children to succeed in school and build healthy relationships (Keane, 2022).
Building Resilience Through Protective Factors
Despite the risks, children are remarkably resilient—especially when they have access to protective factors that help buffer the impact of trauma. Key protective factors include:
- Strong executive functioning skills, particularly self-regulation.
- Supportive relationships with adults and peers who model healthy coping strategies.
- Positive experiences that foster a sense of safety, belonging, and competence.
These elements help children develop the tools they need to manage stress, build confidence, and navigate challenges more effectively (Crandall, 2019).
A Trauma-Informed Perspective
Understanding trauma requires a shift in perspective. Instead of asking “What’s wrong with this child?” we should ask “What has this child experienced?” This trauma-informed approach encourages empathy and helps adults respond to behaviors with compassion rather than punishment.
One helpful metaphor is the idea of wearing “trauma glasses”—a way of seeing children through the lens of their experiences. This mindset helps caregivers recognize that disruptive behaviors may be rooted in fear, confusion, or unmet emotional needs (Sweetman, 2022).
A Three-Step Approach to Support
Supporting children who have experienced trauma involves a thoughtful sequence of engagement:
- Regulate: Help the child calm their nervous system. Co-regulation, where the adult models calm behavior and emotional control, is essential.
- Relate: Build a trusting relationship. Emotional connection must come before reasoning or discipline.
- Reason: Once the child feels safe and connected, they can begin to reflect on their emotions and make sense of their experiences.
This approach respects the developmental needs of children and lays the foundation for healing and growth (Perry, 2019).
Practical Tips for Caregivers
Here are some actionable ways caregivers can support children who have experienced trauma:
- Create Predictable Routines: Children feel safer when they know what to expect. Establish consistent daily routines for meals, bedtime, and schoolwork to reduce anxiety and build trust.
- Model Calm and Patience: Children often mirror the emotional states of adults. Stay calm during stressful moments and use a gentle tone to help them regulate their own emotions.
- Validate Their Feelings: Let children know that their emotions are real and acceptable. Say things like, “It’s okay to feel sad,” or “I understand that was scary.”
- Offer Choices: Giving children small choices (e.g., “Do you want to wear the red shirt or the blue one?”) helps them feel a sense of control and empowerment.
- Use Positive Reinforcement: Celebrate small successes and positive behaviors. Encouragement builds self-esteem and reinforces healthy coping strategies.
- Be a Safe Space: Avoid harsh discipline or unpredictable reactions. Instead, be a consistent, nurturing presence that children can rely on.
- Encourage Expression: Provide outlets for children to express themselves—through drawing, storytelling, music, or play. These activities can help them process emotions in a safe way.
- Stay Connected: Spend quality time together. Even simple activities like reading a book, going for a walk, or cooking together can strengthen your bond.
Final Thoughts
Connectedness is more than just being present—it’s about being emotionally available, responsive, and supportive. When caregivers approach children with empathy and consistency, they help build the resilience needed to overcome adversity. Trauma may shape a child’s story, but with love and connection, it doesn’t have to define it.
Ensō Mental Health is here to help. We offer support to help you navigate the challenges parents and caregivers may face and we will help you find a path to move forward . Schedule an appointment to see how we can support you and your family.
